Networking: What not to do

I hate networking. It's such a pain that I think I must be doing it wrong. After all, isn't it supposed to be the holy grail of finding clients and getting work as a writer? I submit here my most recent attempt to connect with other writers and, thereby, more clients.

Editors Editors Everywhere ...

Last night I attended the Minnesota Magazine & Publications Association annual mixer, "A Magazine Celebration." Held at the Open Book building in downtown Minneapolis and hosted by the Loft Literary Center, editors, publishers and especially writers from the local scene attended. After picking up my badge I stepped into the main area and learned a couple new things:

• There are over 300 magazines published in Minnesota.


• Everyone there seemed to already know everyone else there.


• MMPA knows how to pick a pretty good red wine.

It was overwhelming. Sample magazines festooned the walls and overflowed tables. The temperature slowly climbed as more writers filed in until I was flushed and I was sure I was sweating in a very unattractive manner. Editors and publishers dressed in buttoned down shirts and pressed blouses sailed through the crowd making every effort to not meet my eye. This had the effect of making them seem a little ashamed of themselves. Their heads tilted down, eyes unfocused or trained on an empty corner of the room made it appear as though we were moving through two different worlds that coincidently, just for that night, overlapped.

However, I do count the night a partial success, because, if nothing else, I did meet someone there that I knew. Yes, I realize that the point of networking is not to meet people you know already. But seeing someone that I'd already worked with proved to me that I am making progress in cracking the circle of media movers and shakers. I like to call them the mediacrati.

What not to do when trying to work a room

Let this be a warning to you. Dont

• Waste time flipping through magazines or photocopied mastheads.


• Drink more than one glass of the wine.


• Wander aimlessly munching on a cracker so as to "give your hands something to do".


• Cross your arms over your chest, or put your hands in your pockets. Why is it that arms suddenly become superfluous at the most inopportune times?